I wasn’t fine, not for a very long time. And then suddenly, inexplicably, I awoke and everything was bright again. And I realised, finally, that I was ready to want things. Real things, no cookie cutting people to make them fit. And almost as if the universe heard my epiphane, there he was. I was not expecting it, I never would have predicted it, but it happened. And I’m happy.
What a frightening thought.
Honestly, I can’t remember the last time I just kinda… clicked with someone. And I feel totally uneasy about it, and have never struggled so much to find the words for this as I have right now. Usually everything just pours out but I just really don’t know where I stand here. So I’ll write this next part to him…
You can trust me. I can’t make any promises yet, because we just don’t know, but I’d like to work it out together. I want you to be happy, so I’ll wait for you to make your own decision, whilst I sit here hoping you’ll take a chance on me. I’ll try not to wish too hard, I’ll try to protect my heart a little bit longer, and I’ll wait. But, please, don’t worry about coming home and finding everything turned off, that won’t happen here… I’ll always leave the lights on for you.
Either way, I’m really glad I met you.
thelistlessnovice 